I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
