Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
