Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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