My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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