I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
