I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
