you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
