If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
