drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
