A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
