At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She even gives head with a lisp.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
