my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize