do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the condom got lost in my hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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