I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
