so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
