I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
