at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
