Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
