I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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