She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
