I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize