So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
