I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
