how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
