That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
