Porn is love you can see.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
