Pregnant stripper...not hot.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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