I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
