so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
