I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
