i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
