worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
