Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
