Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
