its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
