so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
