tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He passed out mid-signature
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
