I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
