So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
