My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
