take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
