If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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