The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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