Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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