I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
