Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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