wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
