perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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