You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize