he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
