Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
