Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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