WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
