I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
