Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
