Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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