Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize