i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
