so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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