I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
