Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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