I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
