i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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