You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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