Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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